X-Men Origins: Wolverine

My expectations weren't very high for this movie. I knew, before watching it, that the writers took some "artistic liberties" with the script. The last X-Men movie sucked. And just like Doctor Cox from Scrubs, I don't particularly care for Hugh Jackman. Despite all these deterrents, I decided to go see the movie last night. I walked into it skeptical and left....disappointed :-(

Because there are too many things wrong with this movie, I will not be discussing the ways the movie changes things from how they happened in the comics. IGN does a great job detailing all those missteps. Some quick thoughts on the changes:
1. Sabertooth worked.
2. Emma Frost and Silverfox being sisters is ridiculous.
3. Deadpool is not a robot.
4. WOLVERINE IS A WUSS.







Wolverine's mantra is "I'm the best there is at what I do." That's supposed to mean he's the best hunter/assassin/fighter/bad-ass. In the movie I guess that means he's the best nice guy. All he does is figure out who the bad guys are and then walk away. After fighting Sabertooth (who killed his girlfriend) for the last time, Wolverine has him at his mercy...and then forgives him. Aww that's sweet. When he learns Stryker's master plan and realizes he was being used the whole movie, Wolverine leaves him be. Good for you, sport. As a matter of fact, Wolverine only kills one person the entire movie. He even gets upset at the thought of retaliation. These people are shooting at you, big guy. Man up.

His hair must have been the culprit to Wolverine's wussy behavior. In the first two movies, he clearly had his trademark little horn haircut. The hair and make-up department, experiencing Full House nostalgia, decided to go with a more Uncle Jesse style. Not to be outdone, the costume designers decided that Wolverine should dress in $100 dollar wife-beaters and $300 boot cut jeans that also have healing powers because they never look anything other than clean-off-the-rack (the ones that normal people can't shop from).

Speaking of being clean, what's with Wolverine's beard now. He's supposed to be a rugged wild animal, but his facial hair is pristine. Not a single hair is out of place. His beard looks like a masterpiece that has to be touched up every two hours to maintain. Don't tell Baron Davis Wolverine is trying to steal his look.

OK. Enough about why the character from the movie sucks. Why does the movie suck? First of all, it's cheesy. Every cliche action scene is in this film. You want a slow motion walk-away from an explosion? You got it. Chase scene with impossible motor cycle driving? Duh. Screaming to the heavens when your mad and sad? Check. Thrice!







The special effects are guaranteed to be amazing, right? Wrong. His claws look plastic in more than a few scenes. That's hard to do because, they looked metal in the previous films. How did the special effects capabilities regress? Also, the fire in the aforementioned cliche of a scene looked like it could have been made by me at the weather wall of my local news station.

In spite of all the errors, the movie was fun to watch one time. The final fight on the reactor was really cool. Gambit and Deadpool (sans stupid changes) were good additions too. However, none of the script changes worked. It's star, one of the coolest comic book characters of all time, comes off as a wuss. Special effects from six years ago could take these out in a West Side Story knife-fight. This movie fails and should be forgotten about. Let someone who actually understands and cares about the X-Men take control of the next one.